


Secrets

by wickedlittleoz



Category: Marvel Avengers Movies RPF
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Fingerfucking, First Time, Hiddlesworth, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-09
Updated: 2014-02-09
Packaged: 2018-01-11 16:42:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1175390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wickedlittleoz/pseuds/wickedlittleoz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He had gone so far, it was no use holding back now. Just spill it out. Three little words that he always said to Chris, but that now were stuck in his throat because they meant so much. It was the real deal now, Chris would know. Tom took a deep breath.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Secrets

 Despite what Scarlett always said, it made perfect sense to him the fact that he kept the secret to himself – well, and her, because there’s nothing you can hide from her. There was a rebel part of him that wanted to shout from rooftops what he really felt, but he always forced himself to go back to reality and think straight before he did so, and then he remembered that no one could know. He wasn’t supposed to feel such things, but he really couldn’t help it. On a daily basis he’d see things that made his mouth water and his stomach flip, not to mention how his cock would twitch in interest at the mere sight of those back muscles and the picture of being pinned down by the strength that those biceps held as a promise. He’d have to think of things like cute animals to keep himself under control, but sometimes (more frequently than he’d like to admit) he had no choice but to jerk off, hidden in his trailer. He’d always feel like crap afterwards, but it really wasn’t his fault.

 It really, _really_ was Chris’ fault.

 Damn him. Ever since Tom first laid eyes on him when they were cast as Thor and Loki he had known he was doomed. The bright blue eyes and the disturbingly beautiful smile, his bulky appearance, how he was unaware of what he caused to people with his looks. An idiot, really, because he was ridiculously good looking and that was obvious, and people (and Tom himself) were obvious when they stared. He couldn’t keep his eyes (or hands) off Chris because, fuck, his skin was still smooth and he wondered how on Earth that was possible, he wanted  to bite his every patch of skin until it bled and he had marks to warn people who he belonged to. But he couldn’t. And Chris certainly didn’t belong to him. Which he hated him for. How could he be so oblivious to his feelings? Scarlett knew just by watching them, in their first week shooting _The Avengers_. She had taken him alone and said “ _I know about you and Chris_ ” and Tom almost cried and had to explain that there was no _him and Chris_ , there was only him and his cock getting too worked up _because_ of Chris. And now she kept trying to convince him that he should let Chris know, what’s the worst thing that could happen?

 – He could say he doesn’t feel the same, which is bad enough – he whispered back at her because he never talked about those things out loud, never –, and our relationship could be ruined. Which is ten times worse. No, not ten, a hundred–a thousand! I like having him only as a friend, I can deal with this, but I can’t lose him completely.

 – But you haven’t lost him!  – She was exasperated once again – You haven’t even tried!

 – And I won’t try. End of story.

 That way, they bade goodnight and she went to her trailer. It was late, so he decided to just take a shower and go straight to bed. Shower prolonged when he remembered how he had walked into a shirtless Chris Hemsworth in the dressing room that morning, and it’s not like he’s not used to seeing his bare chest, but every time it feels like the first time, and heat pooled in his stomach and he _had_ to touch himself, fuck scruples, fuck everything, he just wanted him so badly, so fucking badly–

 – Fuck… – Tom breathed out as his come painted the ceramic tiles of the shower box. He had to stay under the cold water for another 10 minutes before he could find the courage to drag himself out of the bathroom and into the bed, damping the sheets as he let himself fall face down on the mattress. He always felt like crap after jerking off. Always. With a groan, he pulled the sheet over his waist and forced himself to sleep.

 

 Mornings were hard enough when he didn’t have Chris waking him up by knocking on his trailer’s door. Even after he answered (with complaintful grunts), the man continued to knock and he had to put on some shorts and open the door to make him stop. And he just stood there with that warming smile of his, holding out a cup of coffee that he had brought for Tom. Tom thanked him and took the cup from him, going to take a large sip to wake up once for all. He went back into the trailer, waving for Chris to follow him and he did, gladly, sitting on his bed as Tom went to fetch clean clothes. He was aware of Chris presence behind him as he bent over to get his flip flops from under the nightstand, but he couldn’t see the way the Aussie eyed hungrily at the curve of his ass and licked his lips. When he emerged from the floor with a proud grin, Chris just smiled back at him and gave him a thumb up. Tom drank his coffee and got into shower, a shiver running down his spine as he imagined how Chris could burst through the door and fuck him senseless in his own bathroom. He had to use all of his self-control not to let his cock get hard.

 When he was done, he put on his clothes and they both left to the dressing room to get their costumes on. It always felt like a Herculean task not to get distracted by the way Chris squeezed his eyes when he spoke, leaving no more than a faint, blue glow visible; or the way his laugh rumbled through his chest before it would leave his mouth; or even how his lips moved around that smile with a softness that was irresistible. Tom had the urge to kiss him every time he looked at him, and as time went by it just became harder and harder to ignore. As they finally closed it on a Friday night, a couple weeks later, Tom swiftly disappeared into his trailer to tug angrily at his damned erection, knelt before his bed, with his forehead buried deeply into the mattress and almost crying as he stroked. He had to bite his lips to no cry out Chris’ name when he came, so ashamed of himself for going that low. He felt sick, like a psycho, watching on his friend and co-star’s every move, getting turned on by his gentleness. Tom held back a sob as he thought about it, finally scrambling to his feet minutes after he had finished, just to look to his side and see Scarlett watching him with crossed arms and an expression that mixed pity and disappointment. He quickly tucked himself in, but she crossed the room and hugged him, let him rest his head on her shoulder.

 – It’s okay if you want to cry – she whispered a couple minutes after.

 – I’m not _that_ bad – he said, half-mocking, and let go of her. They sat side by side on the bed.

 – Tom, you really need to tell him…

 – You know I can’t, Scarlett!

 – But look at you, darling, this is starting to get out of hand! This… _infatuation_ of yours is growing into an obsession. And how do you know he doesn’t feel the same?

 – He doesn’t. I’ve never seen him eyeing a guy.

 – Well, I personally think he likes you too. I’ve seen the way he looks at you and–

 Tom shook his head.

 – You’re only saying this because you want to convince me to open up to him – he said, getting up and going to wash his hands –, but I won’t. I can handle myself. I did it all the while when we were shooting _Thor_ , and I will do it again now.

 He went back into the room and she was standing too. She took his hand, looking deeply into his eyes, and raised a brow that showed she meant business. Tom was embarrassingly afraid.

 – Either you talk to him or I will – She said with an impassive voice and Tom groaned in response – And I suggest you do it tonight. In case you can’t remember, it’s Friday and we’re going out. So take a cold shower, put on some nice cologne and some nice clothes, and let’s go to a pub and have some fun. Once you’re feeling confident from all the alcohol you’re going to have, you’ll talk to Chris and we’ll come back and the entire city will hear you scream from how good he’ll fuck you. Understood?

 Tom could only nod as his mouth had gone dry by the picture that she had set up in his mind. He knew that he probably wouldn’t drink once they got to the pub, too worried that he’d abandon his shyness and do what she told him to, and everyone else was going to notice how he was holding back, but with all of them around, and even more people, Scarlett couldn’t have that much influence on him… He hoped. As she left, he did as she said and put on his best cologne and a purple button down shirt and nice jeans and nice shoes, and went to meet with everyone else. But when he looked at Chris with his white t-shirt and his blue jeans, his hair tied in a bun by his nape, he suddenly felt so self-conscious he wanted to crawl back into his bed and cry himself to sleep. It was Scar’s iron gaze that held him in place and made him get into that cab. He knew he would regret it.

 

 He could never regret it. The night was still young, but he already felt so free and he didn’t remember the last time he had had so much fun. His head was spinning and he felt like grabbing the microphone from that little band and singing to his favorite songs, putting on a show – and obviously getting another drink. Just when he was about to ask for another round, a strong hand closed around his arm and stopped him from raising it to get the waiter’s attention. Tom looked at the hand and them to the person who owned it, and took a second to recognize Chris from behind the hazy cloud that the alcohol had set over his eyes. As Tom grinned, Chris shook his head, holding a serious expression that was far more sober than it should be. He seemed tense, Tom couldn’t tell why, but he looked over his shoulder and saw that the rest of the cast was as loose as him, even Scarlett was – but she still winked encouragingly at him when she saw Chris standing next to him.

 And then he remembered the talk they had had earlier that evening and how she had planned for it to end. Now he was regretting it. With a gulp he tried to set himself free from Chris’ hand, but he wouldn’t let go so easily, so Tom half screamed that he needed to go to the bathroom, and then he nodded and let go. Tom walked as fast as his weak legs let him. Luckily, the bathroom was empty and he walked up and down the room, running his hands through his hair, desperately trying to find a way to get out of that situation. The alcohol didn’t help it, and his head was starting to hurt. But he had to, it was hard, but he had to think, so he splashed some cold water on his face and that helped a little bit, so he did it again. What was he going to do? If he talked to Chris, he would screw things up with his stupid crush, and if he didn’t talk, Scar would, and she’d screw things up with his stupid crush. He didn’t seem to have a way out of that, and why couldn’t Chris know again? Oh, right, right, he didn’t love Tom back and… And… And that would scare him! _That’s the right answer, isn’t it?_ When he heard the door open, he tried to hide inside one of the stalls, but before he could make it, Chris’ confused face looked in. He saw the room was empty and walked inside, locking the door behind himself.

 Tom’s cock twitched in vague hope.

 – Scarlett said you wanted to talk to me… – Chris said, crossing his arms and keeping his distance – She said it was important and that you would probably try to avoid talking, but that I should insist until you broke.

 Now he was definitely done. Why, just _why_ had she told him? She didn’t even give Tom the chance to speak up, no, she had to force him to do it. It was as cold as Jotunheim inside his stomach, he was sure, and he had to remind himself to breathe. _In and out, in and out…_ He probably looked ridiculous, and Chris frowned, taking a step forward, which was proof. Tom held out a hand as if to tell him that it was alright, no need for coming closer, and placed both his hands on the sink, looking at his reflection in the dirty mirror. His hair was a mess and he looked like he had just thrown up.

 He was doomed.

 – Did she? – He really hoped his stuttering didn’t show off that much – That’s funny.

 – Don’t try to stall me, Tom.

 – I’m not–I’m not trying!

 – No, I think you are, and I want you to stop! – His tone was cold and sharp, and Tom took an involuntary step back – You’ve been acting weird since this whole shooting started. You’ve been distant, you get distracted too easily and lately you’ve been disappearing into your trailer just as soon as Joss says “cut”. What’s going on, mate? You know I’m your friend and you can talk to me.

 In those two final lines his voice lowered and became smooth, almost painful. He struggled a bit, as if he wanted to come close and weren’t sure if Tom would want him to. But he didn’t come, just stood there pursing his lips and trying not to let out any emotions, but Chris couldn’t act when he was hurt, Tom had learned that by now, and as he looked up at Chris’ face and realized how just the idea of hurting him made Chris sad, his heart skipped a beat. He was about to lose that great friendship because he was an idiot with a stubborn heart and a bossy friend.

 – It’s nothing, man – he muttered – I’m sorry if I made you think that–

 – Tom, stop! Just be honest with me, if I did wrong you, is there something I can do so you can forgive me?

 – You didn’t wrong me – Tom shook his head, looking down –, I’m the one who’s wronged you. I’m sorry.

 – What?

 He had gone so far, it was no use holding back now. _Just spill it out_. Three little words that he always said to Chris, but that now were stuck in his throat because they meant so much. It was the real deal now, Chris would know. Tom took a deep breath.

 – I love you. – He said, and nothing seemed to weight as much as those words as they left his lips. Tom waited a few seconds, but Chris didn’t reply. He only looked up when he heard the steps, and then Chris arms were around his waist, bringing him closer, pressing their lips together and literally kissing him with so much passion as Tom had ever been kissed. There was no way to know how long it lasted, but at some point, Tom didn’t even know how or why, he parted his lips to let Chris’ tongue slip past them, and they only broke the kiss when there was no more air in their lungs. But with their faces close together, he was able to nibble at the blonde’s bottom lip, making him smile. Tom kissed him again, a hand in his hair and the other on his shoulder. His mouth tasted like beer and chicken, his beard tickled Tom’s jaw. As Chris pressed kisses to his neck and ear, and even his collar, through the open buttons of his shirt, he felt drunker than he had been the entire night. His lips found their way back to Tom’s and he couldn’t believe his luck.

 – So, that’s the problem? – Chris chuckled warmly against his throat.

 – Or so I thought it to be a problem.

 – Why didn’t you talk to me?

 – I was afraid that you’d say no.

 – Are you blind, Tom? – He was looking into the Brit’s eyes now – Can’t you see that I’m crazy for you, have always been? I swear I could fuck you right here, on this dirty sink or against that wall, I’d fill you up with my come and you’d feel it for days, that’s how crazy I am about you.

 Tom groaned as he pictured it, feeling his trousers getting tighter on his groin.

 – I’ve loved you from the beginning, you idiot. I only never tried anything because I thought I would scare you. You’re nice with everyone, I didn’t think I was… – He moved one of his hands to cup Tom’s cheek, stroking his thumb across his cheekbone – I didn’t think I was special.

 – Oh, you are. Very special. – Tom smiled weakly – Now, what were you saying about fucking me right here, right now?

 Chris laughed, leaning in to kiss the corner of his mouth.

 – I said I would do it _if_ we could, but we can’t. Let’s go back out there, and then we’ll do it all in the privacy of your trailer. Later.

 – What? N-No, you can’t leave me like this! – He was practically begging, but he couldn’t feel worse than he had felt earlier that night. Chris just winked, letting go of him and reaching for the door.

 – I can and I will. Now come, they’re probably wondering what’s taking us so long.

 He was never so uncomfortably turned on in his entire life.

 

 Tom wasn’t so drunk anymore when they finally piled into two cabs and went back to the set. His legs were still weak, though, because Chris ghosted behind him, and when everyone said goodnight and went to their respective trailers, Chris pushed him against the door to Tom’s and kissed him hungrily. He opened the door and locked it from the inside, and he was only in his underwear by the time they reached the bed. Chris’ lips, tongue and teeth were everywhere, and so was his chuckle every time he found an unabused patch of skin and sucked on it, making Tom shudder and moan. It was unfair how he was half-naked and leaking while Chris still had his clothes on, so Tom ran his hands over the muscles of his abdomen, feeling them closely as he had wanted to do for so long, reading his body with his fingertips and also bringing his shirt up and then over his head. He took a second to look at it before he let Chris push him onto the bed, automatically parting his legs so he could settle between them.

 – You sure you want this? – Chris asked, almost making it impossible for Tom to think as he licked on some bite marks that were already blooming on his neck (the make-up people were going to hate him in the morning) – There’s no turning back from here.

 Tom wrapped one of his legs around Chris’ hips and pushed him down, pressing their crotches together. They both hissed.

 – Does it look like I want “turning back” to you?

 – Not exactly – Chris grinned and sat back on his haunches; he unbuckled his belt and opened his pants, pushing them down. Tom eyed at him, how his hard cock was outlined by the cloth, a wet spot where the head was already leaking pre-cum. He sat up when Chris kicked his shoes away and stood up to get rid of his jeans, reaching his hands out for him, hooking his fingers on the waistband of his underwear. Chris ran a hand through his hair, smirking at him, and Tom mouthed at his cock through the fabric, humming around it. He grunted. After a few minutes of teasing, Tom pushed his boxers down. Above him, Chris gasped as the cold air of the night touched the heated skin of his dick, and Tom gasped as well because he had wanted so many times to see him, he had wondered how big he would be, how he would fill him up, impale him, and now there it was, bobbing and leaking in front of him, and it was so much better, he couldn’t help himself, he had to swallow him.

 – Oh God, Tom…

 He was probably drooling more than he should, but it didn’t bother him. With a hand wrapped around the base, he sucked and licked and swirled his tongue around it, tasting salty pre-cum every time he suckled on the head. Chris’ grip on his hair was only getting tighter and tighter, he muffled groans by biting his lips. After a deep breath, Tom took him all the way in until his nose was buried in the blonde curls on his belly. He gagged a little, but went back and did it again. The second time, though, Chris pulled his head away from his cock and looked down at him with a face that Tom didn’t quite know how to read. He breathed heavily as Tom cleaned his lips and chin off saliva with his hands and, even when Tom smirked at him, he continued impassive.

 – Get the lube and the condoms – he commanded with a hoarse, yet sharp tone –, lose the briefs and lie on your back. _Now_.

 Tom doesn’t think he ever obeyed to any orders as fast as he did that time. He was on the other side of the bed in a blink of an eye, rummaging through the first drawer of his nightstand until he found condoms and a bottle of lube. Turning around, he threw them at Chris, who was sitting criss crossed on the bed and still not smiling, and got out of his underwear, going to sit next to him. Even if he couldn’t see it, he could _feel_ the way Chris stared at him; he lied down on his back as he had told him too, shaking with expectation. The blonde came through his parted legs to kiss him calmly, and Tom heard when the lid popped open and Chris slicked his fingers. Only one finger circled his hole, though Tom wanted more. Before he started pressing in, he was already panting in his mouth.

 – Is this your first time? – Chris asked, making Tom open his eyes and look at him. Tom nodded, he groaned in response – You give me such responsibilities, _Thomas_ …

 Tom shuddered at the mention of his full name (it really shouldn’t sound so sexual).

 – Have _you_ ever been with another guy?

 Instead of replying, Chris began pressing in. He cried out in surprise, but once he got past the ring of resistance it wasn’t pain – well, it was a good kind of pain. Soon enough he was down to the last knuckle and thrusting in and out slowly. He quickened the pace when he realized Tom was enjoying himself, then came another finger, then a third. It was all pleasure now, no more burning sensation, and, even though Chris’ lips were back to ravishing the skin of his chest, he wanted more. He hadn’t waited all that time for finger fucking, he wanted the real thing. And he let Chris know so. He held his face and whispered that he wanted him, and the thrusts failed before he bit Tom’s lip and sat again, fumbling with the condom packet until it was tore open and he was rolling the condom over his cock, then he did the same to Tom’s. He positioned himself and pressed in slowly, always giving Tom time to adjust before pressing further. Now it burned, but, again, it was a good kind of burn. It was weird when he thought about it, not that thinking was easy. He was pretty sure the rest of the cast could hear him moaning while Chris entered him, but there was no way to hold it back. When he was fully sheathed, he finally smiled, his face inches away from Tom’s, and Tom wrapped both his legs around his waist, his heels pushing the small of his back.

 – Move. – He asked, and Chris attended. He went almost all the way out before slamming in again.

 They soon built a rhythm, with Chris thrusting in and out and Tom rolling his hips to meet his thrusts halfway there. He couldn’t keep his eyes open, nor his noises low, and maybe Scarlett was right and the entire city heard his cry of pleasure when Chris wrapped a hand around his cock and began pumping it. There was no way he could last much longer, he couldn’t even breathe properly, he could only moan and say things like “ _oh yes, Chris, faster!_ ” He felt his orgasm building and didn’t even try to hold it, but Chris kissed him and his cry got lost inside his mouth. Tom was panting and shuddering, and Chris continued to thrust into him until he came as well, biting on Tom’s neck to stop himself from screaming. After a minute of steadying their breathings, they tossed the condoms away and lied side by side on the bed.

 – We have to thank Scarlett… – Chris breathed out when Tom already thought he was asleep.

 – We do.

 – And stop keeping secrets.

 – _Definitely_ need to stop keeping secrets.

 Tom threw one arm around his chest. They were both sticky with sweat, but Chris still smelled good (and he hoped he did too). He hugged Tom’s waist, burying his nose in his hair, and before he could know his breathing was calm and he fell asleep. Tom followed shortly after, suddenly aware of the fact that he was lying in Chris’ arms and they had just had sex. And that he loved him back. There was a very silly and large grin on his face when he dozed off.

 

 Someone was knocking on the door. Tom sighed as he thought it was probably Chris bringing him coffee and a smile. But then things started to come back to him and–

 – You go open that door, Hiddleston, because I’m gonna punch whoever is knocking if I have to go there… – Chris mumbled against his hair and he shivered as he remembered the past night.

 – What’s with the bad mood? – He sat up and stretched – Did I not please you last night?

 – No, I’m just mad someone’s  waking you up and taking you off my arms… – The blonde whispered, coming closer to him and pressing a kiss on one of his bite marks. Tom grunted and turned around so that he could capture Chris’ lips in a kiss.

 – _I know you guys are awake._

 He couldn’t help but laugh. Tom put on some shorts and a t-shirt he found lying around and went to open the door. Scarlett smiled knowingly at him and he rolled his eyes.

 – How was last night?

 – Great.

 – Just great?

 – You want details?

 – All I know is that it involved a lot of “ _faster!”_ and “ _right there!_ ” and “ _oh, Chris!_ ”

 Tom blushed deeply.

 – You know enough.

 She laughed and he crossed his arms.

 – But thanks, Scar, really. If it weren’t for you, I’d–

 – You’d have cried yourself to sleep last night, yes, I know. You’re welcome. Just enjoy him now.

 – Oh, I will…

 She winked at him and left. He went back inside. Chris was already in his jeans and looking for something, and when he saw Tom, he squeezed his eyes. He came closer and kissed Tom’s cheek, his neck, his jaw and then took off his shirt. Tom raised a brow at him, but he just put the shirt on himself.

 – Right, that’s yours.

 – I’m gonna go get us coffee and after breakfast we can take a shower. Together.

 Tom shuddered in anticipation. Chris left and he went into the bathroom to wash his face. When he looked to the mirror, his eyes widened.

 The make-up people were really going to hate him.

**Author's Note:**

> My first Hiddlesworth, yay~  
> There isn't much to say, though LOL  
> Just wanna thank Raven and Ev for reading it first hand and helping me with details, specially Raven who put up with me while I writing and even when I kept sending quotes to her. She also helped me with the title (much creativity wow so secrecy). Thanks, you pretty ladies <3


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